Spanking??? How do you discipline your kid(s)?

Single Mom here, checking in again.

I will be the first to admit that I have no clue about what I am doing when it comes to raising my son.  Rolling with the punches, taking it as it comes, and playing it by ear have become my favorite sayings.  I know the goal – raising him to be smart, self-confident, well-rounded, and successful.  However, I am taking it by day and just trying to make the best decision I can at each turn in the road.  Of course there’s no handbook and other experienced parents tell me that it is different for each child…. okaaayyy, that’s a lot of help! 

Today, I come downstairs and Tyler is no where in sight.  I go into the kitchen and there he stands on top of a large, upside down bucket with an overfilled cup of milk in front of him and the open milk jug by his side.  Then I notice that the entire counter top is wet including my camera!  I said, “Tyler, what did you do???”  He showed me that he spilled my entire oversized mug of coffee.  Uuuugggh!  Then he said, “I’m sorry mommy”.  Annoyed as I was, I didn’t yell or scream, I didn’t even spank him.  I just told him to get down so I could clean up the mess he had made and to let me help him next time. 

I’m sure that some people’s opinion would be that I should have been more harsh about it.  However, I was totally pleased because he told me the truth.  He didn’t run, hide, and wait for me to notice it later.  He stayed there, told me what happened and apologized for the accident.  That is so important to me.  I know that I will value his honesty even more when he becomes a teenager.  After an incident on Friday night, I realize that some people’s kids start lying at very young ages!  3 and 6 year olds lying???  Whaaattt?  I’d really like to see what happens when those little fibbers turn into big, thinking their grown, ready to date, teenagers.  I hate to even think about when my baby is dating.  In my visions I usually skip the high school and college years, and jump straight to picturing when he’s grown.  I always stay mindful of goal – when he’s in his 20’s, finished college, starting a successful career, happy, respectful, upstanding young man. 

Just the other day, Tyler spilled his juice on the couch while I was upstairs getting his clothes together.  When I came downstairs he was sitting on the couch with a few blankets piled up under him.  He said, “Tyler was bad.”  I asked, “what happened?”  He told me that he spilled his juice.  I asked “Where?”  He shyly responded, “on the couch”.  I simply asked, “was it an accident”.  He said, “yes, I’m sorry”.  I was annoyed but I didn’t yell, scream, or spank him.  His body language told me that he really was sorry and that it was hard for him to tell me, but he admitted it anyway.   For the honesty, for knowing that a 3-year-old is going to spill things from time to time, I simply told him that he had to let me see so I could clean it up.  No spanking, no yelling.

He is a smart child that does not do bad things on purpose.  Yes, there has been times where the 3-year-old has tried to challenge my authority.  He does sometimes think he’s 23 instead of 3.  Other than the normal, teaching a kid their boundaries type things, we don’t have any problems.  He has not had a spanking-free life BUT spanking is not something I do often.  I can usually resolve an issue other ways. 

I am one who considers what stage a child is at and what you can expect of them in each stage.  For example, when he was 2 years old, I knew that the limit for him sitting still was about an hour.  So if the doctor or dentist’s office had us waiting for a long time, I’d take him for a short walk around the waiting room or out to the parking lot.  Long shopping trips are taboo, unless I want to deal with a tired, unruly child.  One mother told me that it is just what you teach them and that her kids ‘knew better’ and were ‘good’ regardless of how long she was out shopping.  Then another mother who saw Tyler and I in the mall with Tyler sprinting 5-6 steps ahead of me told me that 2 of her 4 sons were the “lively type” like Tyler. 

So, once again, it just depends on what works for your kid.  AAANNNDDD… every child is different.  

Is my child spoiled?  There are lots of articles on disciple and spanking.  I know what they think, what do you think?

Related Articles

• Preschoolers: Tips for Discipline and Manners (webmd.com)
• Is Your Child Spoiled? (webmd.com)
• Spanking Makes Kids More Aggressive: The Research is Clear (psychologytoday.com)
• The Lighter Side of Parenting (children.webmd.com)
• Complaining about a generation of spoiled kids — again (washingtonpost.com)
• Spare the rod, spoil the child? (physorg.com)
• Spank Your Kids? Doctors Sound Off (abcnews.go.com)
• The Long-Term Effects of Spanking (time.com)