Is the Mohawk Making a Come Back???

Single mom here, checking in again.

Last night when Tyler’s dad and grandmom brought him home and Tyler took off his hat, I immediately noticed that he had a new hair cut.  Okaay.  I wanted to be appreciative that his dad took that initiative although I had just cut his hair a few days ago.  I was trying really hard to like it.  At first I thought it was a ‘fade’ gone wrong.  The fade line was waaay to high.  Then, after watching the kid in action for a few minutes and getting to see the back of his head I couldn’t help but to ask, “is that a mohawk????”  Tyler’s grandmom chimed in, you haven’t seen all the kids wearing their hair like that – it’s the new style.  Tyler goes to a huge 600 kid preschool.  I see hundreds of kids reg-u-lar-ly! Without needing to think about it for even a second, I responded “N0000…  it’s a mohawk, right?”  The reason I even asked was because it’s not your normal Mr. T type mohawk.  It starts wider in the front and tapers down to a point in the back.  They responded yes, it’s a mohawk.  Tyler’s grandmom said, “she doesn’t like it”.  My only comment was, “good they took pictures last week”, as I thought about how long it would take to be able to change it back to a normal style.  After a little more thought, once again I was just compelled to ask, “are you thinking that the top should grow out and the sides stay short like that or is it supposed to always be short like that?”  His dad just kinda shrugged his shoulders.  I left it alone after that because I had already determined that it would only take two weeks for it to look normal again!  AND, thank God Tyler likes to wear a hat every day!

Now there is a good part to my three, almost four year old having a mohawk.  I had a job interview today.  There were four people in the room.  Three of the four took turns asking me questions from a sheet of paper they all had a copy of.  The second question was to tell them something about myself that they wouldn’t know based on my application or resume.  I thought about it for a few seconds then told them that I have the most wonderful three, almost four year old son. I went on to tell them that his dad brought him home last night with this mohawk.  They all laughed pretty good at my rendition of this story that ended with, so yes, I have a three, almost four year old with a mohawk.  After first being shocked beyond words that he’d even cut his hair into a style he knew I wouldn’t like, I am now find some humor in it. 

Just in case there were more instances of mohawks popping up at the school, today when I went to pick up Tyler I had a light conversation with the teachers about Tyler’s new do.  They both agreed that there is maybe two other kids with mohawks in the school.  One of the two wears his with lots of gel to make it stand up in spiky pieces.  I knew I was right.  Now, all I need is for Tyler to love it and never stop wanting to “rock a ‘hawk … kinda like people who still wear mullets!  lol. 

The new cut has turned into comic relief!

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Child Support Court

Single Mom here, checking in again. 

It’s now 2:08am and I am still awake watching TV and playing a game of Texas Hold ’em Poker on my cell phone.  I am not always totally in touch with my feelings.  Often times I need to take some time to digest what happened, then analyze what I’m feeling. 

Yesterday, Tyler’s father and I were scheduled to appear in Family Court a.k.a. Child Support Court for an enforcement hearing.  I was there but he didn’t bother to show up.  That has been the story of Tyler’s life…. I’m there and his father is not.  The only thing that I can say to the man’s credit is that, after being totally absent since Tyler’s 2nd birthday, he called and has been seeing Tyler since some time in September.  Either two or three times Tyler has spent the night with him.   One night, not the weekend.  Really sad to have to say that he lives with his mom. 

Without delving too deep into all the things that has pissed me off about that man, elaborating more about all the crappy details of his life, explaining how having such a loser as my sons’ father is, citing the billions of incidents where Tyler and I would be better off if his father did help financially, that he did have a job when I dated him, or exactly how I feel now,  I somehow think that you know just what I mean. 

Other single parents with absent co-parents personally know all the issues we handle alone, least of all the issue of balancing time and money.  Single parents with a co-parent and couples personally feel some of it, but, I am sure that since you know all the things a parent is responsible for, you can imagine if the burden rested solely on your shoulders.  My child is not a burden but worrying about finding a job to make enough money to support us because I probably won’t ever have reliable help,  school clothes, winter coat, boots, a roof over our head, food on the table, keeping the house clean, clothes washed, cable, telephone, gas, electric, a vehicle maintained in good condition, auto insurance, extra curricular activities, stressing education… all of those things add a huge weight to my shoulders.  The weight is so much heavier than when I was single because now my sons’ life depends on it. 

Tuesday night when we were doing our normal routine of reading books before bedtime, Tyler said the most amazingly intuitive thing.  He’s only three but he understands on his level.  At the last pages of the book Goldilocks and the Three Bears where it says that Goldilocks was so scared she ran all the way home, it shows the three bears standing in the living room by their front door.  Flanking the door are family pictures.  Tyler likes to say who is in each picture.  He says that he is Baby Bear.  Of course I am Mama Bear.  But Tuesday night, my intuitive little three year old pointed to Mama Bear and said that’s you, then pointed to Papa bear and told me that was me too. 

in·tu·i·tive  /ɪnˈtuɪtɪv, -ˈtyu-/    [in-too-i-tiv, –tyoo–]   –adjective

1. perceiving by intuition, as a person or the mind.

2. perceived by, resulting from, or involving intuition: intuitive knowledge.

3. having or possessing intuition: an intuitive person.

4. capable of being perceived or known by intuition.

 

in·tu·i·tion  /ˌɪntuˈɪʃən, -tyu-/ [in-too-ish–uhn, -tyoo-]    noun

1.  direct perception of truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension.

2.  a fact, truth, etc., perceived in this way.

3.  a keen and quick insight.

4.  the quality or ability of having such direct perception or quick insight.

5. Philosophy .

a. an immediate cognition of an object not inferred or determined by a previous cognition of the same object.

b. any object or truth so discerned.

c. pure, untaught, noninferential knowledge.

6. Linguistics . the ability of the native speaker to make linguistic judgments, as of the grammaticality, ambiguity, equivalence, or nonequivalence of sentences, deriving from the speaker’s native-language competence.

 

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Did you see Misty Croslin’s new look?

Single Mom here, checking in again.

What a difference a year and a half makes!!!  When Haleigh Cummings disappeared in February 2009, Misty Croslin was a skinny little somebody prancing around in tight jeans and belly shirts.  Now, after being in prison since January 20, 2010, her skin is a mess and she gained a lot of weight.  Stress can do that to a person.  When I saw the newest pictures of her it seemed me to be a case of switcheroo.  You know how when you are watching a soap opera and one day when you tune in you hear, ‘the role of such-and-such will now be played by such-and-such’…. I was waiting for those words when I looked at the new Misty!  If the stress of 9 months in jail made her change enough for me to question if that was even the same girl, just think what she’ll look like after she serves the 25 year sentence she already got slapped with PLUS more for her pending charges.

I’d feel sorry for her if only I could believe that she didn’t kill Haleigh, was not an accomplice to Haleigh’s murder, AND has not been withholding pertinent information regarding  Haleigh’s disappearance/murder. 

check out the latest…. Misty Croslin sentenced to 25 years

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Uh ooh…. is my kid colorblind???

There was a scholastic book fair at my son’s preschool.  On Wednesday, September 29th, Back to School Night, I visited the book fair and purchased 4 books.  Doggone Dogs, Too Many Dogs, Goldilocks and The Three Bears, and Naughty Little Monkeys. 

I have been reading him  3-4 of the books every night since then.  He always chooses to start with Doggone Dogs.  I read the title, I read the author’s name, and illustrator.  On one of the beginning pages there is a picture of 5 dogs lined up by height in descending order.  Every night Tyler points to each dog and tells me what color collar they have.  Red, red, red, green, blue.  He points to the blue one and says it’s green.  I tell him, no baby, that one is blue.  Then I correct him when he says the green one is blue.  After a few days of this, I started thinking maybe he’s color blind.  My mom, a former nurse, had previously told me that colorblind people have a hard time distinguishing between blue and green.  I’m getting more and more worried every day he calls blue, green.  I want to tell myself that maybe its just because the collars are small but that conversation with my mom keeps ringing really loudly in my head.  Finally, Friday October 8th, we start our same routine.  I sit on his bed.  He sits in between my legs.  He holds the book and I read.  I read, Doggone Dogs, by Karen Beaumont, pictures by David Catrow.  He turns the page.  We get to the page with the fateful, collared dogs.  Again, just the same as all the other days, he points to the doggies and says red, red, red, then, as I hold my breath and time moved like slow motion, Tyler points to the blue collar and says green.  My heart sunk and, in my mind, I let out a huge disappointed sigh.  I couldn’t say anything.  When time moved again, Tyler pointed to the blue collar again and said green.  I still couldn’t respond.  He turned and gave me a look that let the whole cat out the bag.  He knew that blue collar wasn’t green and was waiting for me to say something before he could move on.  I let out a loud, raucous laugh.  I said, “you know that collar isn’t green”!  He laughed really hard with me.  

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Spanking??? How do you discipline your kid(s)?

Single Mom here, checking in again.

I will be the first to admit that I have no clue about what I am doing when it comes to raising my son.  Rolling with the punches, taking it as it comes, and playing it by ear have become my favorite sayings.  I know the goal – raising him to be smart, self-confident, well-rounded, and successful.  However, I am taking it by day and just trying to make the best decision I can at each turn in the road.  Of course there’s no handbook and other experienced parents tell me that it is different for each child…. okaaayyy, that’s a lot of help! 

Today, I come downstairs and Tyler is no where in sight.  I go into the kitchen and there he stands on top of a large, upside down bucket with an overfilled cup of milk in front of him and the open milk jug by his side.  Then I notice that the entire counter top is wet including my camera!  I said, “Tyler, what did you do???”  He showed me that he spilled my entire oversized mug of coffee.  Uuuugggh!  Then he said, “I’m sorry mommy”.  Annoyed as I was, I didn’t yell or scream, I didn’t even spank him.  I just told him to get down so I could clean up the mess he had made and to let me help him next time. 

I’m sure that some people’s opinion would be that I should have been more harsh about it.  However, I was totally pleased because he told me the truth.  He didn’t run, hide, and wait for me to notice it later.  He stayed there, told me what happened and apologized for the accident.  That is so important to me.  I know that I will value his honesty even more when he becomes a teenager.  After an incident on Friday night, I realize that some people’s kids start lying at very young ages!  3 and 6 year olds lying???  Whaaattt?  I’d really like to see what happens when those little fibbers turn into big, thinking their grown, ready to date, teenagers.  I hate to even think about when my baby is dating.  In my visions I usually skip the high school and college years, and jump straight to picturing when he’s grown.  I always stay mindful of goal – when he’s in his 20’s, finished college, starting a successful career, happy, respectful, upstanding young man. 

Just the other day, Tyler spilled his juice on the couch while I was upstairs getting his clothes together.  When I came downstairs he was sitting on the couch with a few blankets piled up under him.  He said, “Tyler was bad.”  I asked, “what happened?”  He told me that he spilled his juice.  I asked “Where?”  He shyly responded, “on the couch”.  I simply asked, “was it an accident”.  He said, “yes, I’m sorry”.  I was annoyed but I didn’t yell, scream, or spank him.  His body language told me that he really was sorry and that it was hard for him to tell me, but he admitted it anyway.   For the honesty, for knowing that a 3-year-old is going to spill things from time to time, I simply told him that he had to let me see so I could clean it up.  No spanking, no yelling.

He is a smart child that does not do bad things on purpose.  Yes, there has been times where the 3-year-old has tried to challenge my authority.  He does sometimes think he’s 23 instead of 3.  Other than the normal, teaching a kid their boundaries type things, we don’t have any problems.  He has not had a spanking-free life BUT spanking is not something I do often.  I can usually resolve an issue other ways. 

I am one who considers what stage a child is at and what you can expect of them in each stage.  For example, when he was 2 years old, I knew that the limit for him sitting still was about an hour.  So if the doctor or dentist’s office had us waiting for a long time, I’d take him for a short walk around the waiting room or out to the parking lot.  Long shopping trips are taboo, unless I want to deal with a tired, unruly child.  One mother told me that it is just what you teach them and that her kids ‘knew better’ and were ‘good’ regardless of how long she was out shopping.  Then another mother who saw Tyler and I in the mall with Tyler sprinting 5-6 steps ahead of me told me that 2 of her 4 sons were the “lively type” like Tyler. 

So, once again, it just depends on what works for your kid.  AAANNNDDD… every child is different.  

Is my child spoiled?  There are lots of articles on disciple and spanking.  I know what they think, what do you think?

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When Having a Problem is Good

Single mom here, checking in again.

Just before I got pregnant with Tyler, I started gaining weight.  I was never what you’d call skinny, just nicely proportioned, a little meat on my bones, just right, as the men used to tell me.   My lowest weight after Tyler was still up about 30 lbs from what I was used to.  30 lbs on a small, 5’1” frame is a lot.  50 extra pounds on a small frame is unbearable but that is where I’m at.  I put on 20-25 lbs within the last two years. 

I tried weight watchers but that only lasted about two weeks.  As a former vegetarian, I tried returning to some of my healthier eating habits.  I tried walking when Tyler was still young enough to push him in the stroller.  None of it worked.  I had lost about 5-7 lbs while I was working… yeah, working at the property management company with the fat, shiesty boss that fired me.   Can you tell I’m still super pissed about getting fired?  I’ve never been fired before and I can still say that I’ve never been fired for a good, real reason.  OK, I digress.  The weight gain and loss thing… that’s where I was at.  So, I loose a few, I gain it back.

I went to the doctor last year because I thought something HAD to be wrong.  A person isn’t supposed to gain so much weight in such a little bit of time.  I told the doctor but he didn’t take me seriously.  I told him that I hadn’t had a physical since my post baby exams and asked if he’d order blood work.  He told me how the metabolism slows down in your 30’s and gave me advice on how to cut down on calories.  BS like lowfat mayonnaise, sugar free creamer.  I tried that too but it didn’t work.  He did order something, I think just thyroid… it’s a shame, I’m really not sure what he ordered.  It was a short list of things. 

So now I sit, still overweight but also experiencing nausea, sometimes I can’t think clearly, sometimes I can’t even see clearly, and although I realize this might be TMI I’m going to admit that I am also having way too many BM’s per day.  So…. I choose a different doctor who sends me to get the full gamut tests normally run when you get your blood work done.  I went to the lab on a Monday.  The following Saturday later I get a letter in the mail stating I needed to make an appointment to discuss my “abnormal test results”.  Crapola, figures it’s a Saturday which means I have to wait until Monday to even call to get an appointment.  That is a lot of time to sit and speculate what could be wrong.  I thought up lots of scenarios…. cancer like my father had, could it be my kidneys, maybe pancreas, diabetes – at least two of my aunts have it, low iron…. what could it be?

They gave me an appointment for Wednesday.  That gave me four full days of worrisome speculation.  The doctor informed me that my blood sugar was a little high.  Not high enough to call it diabetes, but a tenth or two over what is considered normal.  When I told her of my symptoms, without complaining about the weight gain, she gave me a prescription for something to help regulate my sugar.  She told me that people with diabetes will take 3-4 of these per day but she recommends that I only take one per day. 

Today, Friday, was my first day taking it.  I feeellll good!  Finally!  I was super productive today.  Usually, I start working on something but find myself tired after a short amount of time.  Today, I’ve been going at it all day and still am not tired.  Yippeee!  My house is already looking better, I got some work done that I had been neglecting, got past due errand run.  Wheewww!  Let’s see what tomorrow brings and how much I can get done!  I am excited to feel so alive again.  I think this may help me lose weight too.

Having a problem, this problem, is good because fixing it has fixed all the things that had been ailing me.  OK… maybe not everything yet.  I haven’t had a sex drive, which is really odd for me.  My drive used to be more like over drive and now it’s non-existent.  Now that I know what my problem is, I have learned that sugar problems effects the libido too.  I’d be really happy to have any kind of sex drive again.  Now I’m really going to have to find me a man!  Problems solved. 

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