Single Mom here, checking in again.
Right now I sit on my couch thinking about how I am not there for someone who needs me. Well she doesn’t need me, she just needs somebody and I am one of the few people that fits into that somebody. But it’s not my fault that the pickins are so slim.
I have been a full time Realtor for the last 5 years. Of course the present economic situation has wreaked havoc on the real estate industry. Back in 2005 or 6, I told my broker that we needed more agents. The market was HOT and we had a good 7- 8 agents that regularly sold properties. However, I still thought we needed more. Agents create a synergy. The more agents you have means the more listings you have which means the more the phone will ring which means more buyers and sellers, and more agents to handle them.
The market here started to fall apart in 2007, the year I gave birth to Tyler, but I managed to do well that year in spite of the market slowing down and prices beginning to decline. By the time the big stock market crash in September 2008 hit, we were down to only really 2, maybe 3 agents that sold somewhat regularly. When one of the local, mom & pop offices closed, many of the agents that worked there came to my broker looking for a new office. She, after talking to at least 4 of them that I know of, only chose to accept only one part-time agent who ended up not working out. I voiced my opinion again. WE NEED MORE AGENTS! However, I got all of the reasons why the people weren’t a good fit for our office. I realize that one must take care in choosing the right agents, however, I cannot and do not believe that all of those folks were bad agents. It was then that I internalized the fact that it is not my office, I just work there. I am an experienced agent with a good track record of sales not the owner, therefore, I cannot make business decisions. I’d voice my opinion, then let it go.
2009 was a bad year for me. My search for a regular, salaried position began in the beginning of 2009. I was on welfare, or TANF as they call it now, and getting every kind of government assistance for which I qualified. I learned the ‘system’. I met people for whom assistance was a rotating door, or worse yet, a regular part of life and part of their plan for success. I was depressed, sitting around home, unable to afford good outings for Tyler and I, gaining weight and loosing confidence. I had listings that were just sitting extremely stale when I used to pride myself in being able to sell any and every thing. I had clerical workers trying to disrespect me because of my financial position. Oooh yeeaaah, some of those people at these agencies who are all probably just scraping by themselves treat the people that need assistance like they are pond scum, worse than pond scum. Having worked in professional offices, I know customer service and how to treat a client. I guess I learned the rules for treating paying clients. Unfortunately, when your client is not paying you, are there because they are in a desperate position, are greatly in need of help, and would really benefit from a compassionate ear, you, the employee, can try to crush what dignity they have left, treat them as if they are stealing money from your pockets, and make them jump through hoops like an animal in a circus show.
Since the workers at these agencies that assist low income people don’t return calls, driving cross county to apply for things, then checking and re-checking on it becomes almost as time consuming as a regular, full-time job and much more draining. I stopped doing ‘floor time’ at the real estate office when TANF’s requirements left me with no spare time. As it was, without a co-parent and not being the type of mother that passes her kid off on a bunch of miscellaneous folks, my only free time was during daycare hours. My mother, sister, and nieces are Tyler’s only babysitters. They do help, however, I’d only ask them to babysit when I needed to show a house during the evenings or weekends. With occasionally selling a house and all of the assistance, I did manage to keep a roof over our heads, DVR cable, my cell phone, my truck, kept Tyler in daycare, and kept clothes on our backs. My sense of style has kept Tyler looking good even when I don’t spend a lot.
After a really rough winter, I finally got a regular JOB. On March 1, 2010, I started working as an Administrative Assistant to the Risk Management Administrator for a property management firm. My salary was below what I thought I should get but I took it because I was in a desperate position and I envisioned a future with this company where I’d be promoted to a Property Manager position and beyond. My measly salary at least paid the bills. This job took me farther out of real estate sales. After once loving it, I was not at all sad to say goodbye to my life as a full time Realtor. Onward and upward I thought. I decided that I only wanted to continue listing the foreclosures that came my way. I had worked hard to break into the foreclosure market because foreclosures ALWAYS sell. The seller, the banks and mortgage companies, are extremely motivated to sell and able to reduce the price until it does. I let my other listings expire and did not attempt to renew them. Finally… I got caught up on my bills and felt the stress melting off my back. Just then, just when I had exhaled, after only working for three months, I was abruptly fired from my job. I had done nothing wrong, just fired. That job and the reason for separation will require an entire posting by itself. Needless to say though, I was shocked, devastated and confused. Since my termination on June 11th, I have been, once again, jumping through hoops to get assistance. This time it will be unemployment where they treat you a smidge better, I think, because at least you worked for this assistance. After receiving no income for the last 5 weeks, I am still waiting for my application to be approved.
After I had been unemployed for about two weeks, I told my broker that I had been terminated from my job. If I had really thought about it, I wouldn’t have ever mentioned it. She, after telling me her woes and how she barely has any reliable help, got me to say I’d do floor time on Mondays from 1-5:00 pm. UUUgggghhh. I always hated floor time, why did I do this? Oh, yeah, because she needs me. I regretted it after one shift. This week I did my second shift. Hated it! Then, yesterday, I was asked to come in to cover the office today. Oooh, I don’t wannaaa! I haven’t been feeling good lately, I’m tired all the time, and I haven’t finished handling some of my own affairs so I said NO. Not just plain old no although i did feel need to explain myself, tell them what I needed to do instead. My broker angrily told me that it’s not a matter of want for her. She has three closings that she must attend in order to keep the bills paid at the office. That seems a bit more important that my wants… it’s a need. However, what I really feel deep down inside that I couldn’t say so bluntly to my broker, is that it’s not my fault that we have so few agents and therefore no one to cover when one calls in sick or has conflicts in their schedule. I have been telling her that we need more agents. Yet another local office has closed and, once again, my broker has stated that she doesn’t want any of their agents. As recently as two weeks ago I had a long conversation with her about what I heard other agents (ones that I know she’d like to have) are giving as their reason for not wanting to join our office. She told me that she listened and would consider it but strongly thinks that my suggestions would not help in getting new agents aboard. Now, only two weeks later, I feel so guilty for saying NO when she NEEDS me. She has been there for me, unlike my most recent employer. I can hear her now, talking of how she feels hurt and betrayed because she was there for me when I needed her and now I’m not there for her. What she doesn’t realize is that I am there for her. I haven’t left the office although I have really seriously considered it and I did pick up floor time on Mondays. I’m just not there today and I can’t/won’t be there to fill all the holes in the schedule. I feel overwhelmingly guilty for saying no but proud of myself for standing my ground.
n, -tyoo-] noun 
Single mom vs. life 